How to Overcome Axiety and Embarrassment within the Bedroom

An overview of some of the common reasons as to why people have anxiety and embarrassment issues within the bedroom which may ultimately inhibit their performance. Also included are some proactive and constructive suggestions that the reader can implement to overcome some problems within their relationship.

Sexuality and the expression of sexual desires is something that many of us struggle with for a variety of reasons. Even when we are in a loving, trusting and committed relationship, we find it difficult to truly and properly communicate our sexual wants and desires, fearing that we maybe rejected, or humiliated by our partner.

A common concern voiced in relation to the issue of anxiety and embarrassment issues within the bedroom stems from a need for the approval both overt and tacit from the partner, and so many people will gladly suppress their true feelings for the sake of maintaining a deeply flawed and unfortunate status quo.

The cruellest irony about this entire situation is that couples find it difficult, even impossible in some circumstances to confide in their partner about sexuality, because their partner is the person who matters the most to them, and who gives them the most joy and comfort. Therefore, a rejection from them would have devastatingly adverse effect on their emotional well-being, not to mention their self-esteem.

If you, or your partner are not comfortable either the giving or receiving of oral sex due to the concern of unpleasant smells or tastes, then this can be easily overcame by showering before sex. A healthy, clean vagina produces no discernable odour, and the same is true of a penis. Showering or bathing before the commencing of physical intimacy need not be a tiresome chore but rather, an erotic prelude and one component of the foreplay process.

As noted earlier, expressing and articulating one’s sexual identity can be challenging. However, one small step that can be taken to gradually bolster confidence and break down anxiety is to speak during sexual intercourse itself. Praising a particular act being committed by your partner, will increase their sexual confidence and in turn, make them more receptive to new ideas. In essence, when “caught up in the moment”, it is hard to feel shy or reserved!

An excellent way of discerning the comfort level of your partner and what particular sexual practises arouse and entice them is to make use of pornography, which you will both watch together. This is especially true of people who very introverted when it comes to sexuality, as commenting on a particular sex act is easier than actually expressing approval on behalf of themselves!

Does your partner prefer to have the lights turned off, or at the very least, dimmed during sexual intercourse and times of physical intimacy? An erotic, all-body massage is a great way to get them in the mood for full-blown sexual intercourse, as well as a golden opportunity for you to comment (in a positive manner) on their body as a whole.

Don’t just focus on the erotic parts of their body such as the genitals, buttocks lips and breasts, but rather, other parts as well. When your partner realises that you appreciate them for everything that they have and everything they are, this will bolster their flagging self-confidence exponentially.

Another exercise to try is for both you and your partner to sit down together, and then write down your sexual fantasies and desires. Without saying them out loud, hand them to your partner and allow them to read and consider them in private.